"Say what?" You ask.
"These are not the words your doctor will tell you but they may as well be, because this is exactly how you will feel the first few weeks after they get your body ready to start dialysis.
First they will give you a choice. Peritoneal dialysis also known as PD or hemodialysis. They will go on to explain how the PD works. You pump fluid into your abdomen, keep it there for a four hours, drain it out, and do it all over again. At that stage the PD sounds flexible. You can do it any place, any where and if you are a casino addict like me, you go to the Casino and four hours later ran to your car to do your exchange and ran back to lose more money or get a jackpot. When you are in the Casino you lose all track of time but you got to keep yourself in check. The dialysis fluid loses its protectiveness after four hours.
The hemodialysis on the other hand is too restrictive especially for busy people like me. Who wants to go to the hospital three times a week at the same time every time? These people do not realize we have busy lives to live.
So you make the choice. It will be PD. You are then informed you have to do two operations. One,to put a catheter in the stomach to do the PD and two, you need to prepare a line for you to start hemodialysis right away whiles you wait for the PD catheter to heal. A process that can take a month.
You are sent to the special procedure room to get the line for dialysis. The specialist informs you that this is a little procedure. All you have to do is sit still whiles he pokes a hole into your neck to insert a tube. You are given no drugs, no knock out pills or fluids and you are expected to sit still for all of this.
"Heck no," you say. "Look Doctor, I cannot even stand a blood test."
To make matters worse, he informs you that he does not have all day to carry out this simple procedure.
You summons all your God given strength and lie still long enough to get the much needed catheter. But something has gone wrong or so you think because you cannot remove your chin from your chest.
Relax.....This too shall pass. You should fall back to your old self in about a month.